Another long break between writing. The end is in sight but once again the goalposts have changed. Whether they’re for the better or worse is unclear. We now have a fourth writer but two more chapters. Whoever pays their sixty dollars will certainly get their money’s worth that’s for sure. Aside from the epilogue at the end, there isn’t a single chapter under 50 pages long and it looks like that trend will continue to the rest of the book.

In the meantime, I’ve been learning to write bits of Glaswegian for chapter 6, by reading Trainspotting and listening to Billy Connolly. I have enough problems with strong Brummie accents. Glad I’m not up north.

With less than a month before deadline, I’ve started, perhaps not wisely, to look beyond this book (hurrah) to the complete lack of things to do after Easter (boo). Having watched Jackass the Movie again, I’ve been sending CVs out to companies I have no intention of working for, just to see if they will give me an interview - I need the practice after all. My simple criteria for this treatment are: UK based, salary no less than 40k, car a nice plus, employee definitely with head up own ass - official institutes and industry journals. Pig farming weekly and so on. No idea why they would pay so much given the incredibly limited scope of some of these jobs. Probably because there’s no other reason to do the job in the first place. Ye gods, I wonder if I can say “I’ve been interested in pig futures for sometime now” in an interview with a straight face.

Bizarrely, the one application I’ve written seriously notes that upon interview I must prove that I am not an employee. They fail to mention how exactly.

In other news, one of my reviewers has become a limited company. He looks about the same so the side-effects haven’t kicked in yet. Wonder what happens when he becomes a completely unfettered company?